In an effort to distinguish myself from the countless other content creators who give out awards at the end of each year in what often feels like a way of staving of ritualistic suicide, this award list doesn’t include a ranked list. Instead, I will present awards in certain categories. For example, I might give the award for most drawn out run-time to this paragraph, with a runner up award being presented to The Snowman. So, without further delay, here’s a not particularly well structured list of thecowofbeef.com’s winners, losers, and narrow defeats.
Nicest Surprise: the Nintendo Switch
What was probably the most unexpected, but none-the-less pleasant, surprise of the year was the success of the new (not Nintendo NEW, just regular new) Nintendo Switch handheld/home/portable/not-portable console hybrid. The warning signs were there from the start: A barren launch month (outside of that one game that we’ll talk about later), marketing it as some sort of social platform, an apparent failure for Nintendo to move on from the tablet formula of the Wii U, embarrassingly small internal storage space, etc… The console looked doomed to fail, and I’m embarrassed to say that I felt a strong sense of doubt that Nintendo had learned from its recent blunders. Thankfully, the sceptics among us were proven wrong, as the Nintendo Switch had a fairly successful launch that lead to a number of excellent gaming experiences. With two major first party releases within a year, the system has become a fairly respectable piece of tech, with some impressive stuff being done by developers.
The biggest problem that currently looks to damage the device going forward is third party software. Thankfully, the problem isn’t a lack of it this time. Instead, the problem sits in the fact that the Switch simply isn’t powerful enough to compete with its direct competitors, namely the Xbox One and Ps4, both of which now have souped up versions that further distance them from Nintendo‘s system. The only way developers are managing to get their games onto Nintendo’s system from a release on one of the others, is by performing some pretty serious surgery. The recent release of Doom on the Switch is a prime example of some of the compromises needed. Whilst other versions boast a pretty solid 60 fps, the Switch can only manage to render the blood-soaked halls of hell at a rough 30 fps. Whilst to some this isn’t the end of the world, most gamers (myself included) aren’t going to buy Doom on the Switch when it is clearly outclassed in almost every way by its competitors. Portability is great, but such a drop in performance and visual fidelity isn’t worth it in my eyes.
Thankfully, when the Switch succeeds, it does so with flying colours. With the strong first-party support that has kept Nintendo off the streets, the console has presented some of the best gaming experience in the past few years. Most gamers are, to say the very least, interested to see where the console goes from here, and how support for the system grows. Whether Nintendo will be able to join its competition in the fantastical world of the future is yet to be seen, but as long as they keep their main focus on games, the Switch should remain in good hands, and have a bright future ahead.
Most Ham-Fisted Political Commentary: Wolfenstein II: The New Colossus
Lets get this bit out of the way now: I really liked the first Wolfenstein reboot game. The New Order was exactly the shot in the arm that the dying franchise needed to return to the public eye. With its impressive character moments, fairly bonkers plot, and mix of old and new gameplay elements, it managed to succeed where its sequel fails. Yes, there are still some nice character moments, most of which are between Blazkowicz and Anya. Yes, the plot is still a bit silly. Yes… actually no, the combat is kinda shit now.
Before we get into why The New Colossus won the award for “whale penis in a pavlova” levels of political subtlety, I should admit that for the majority of the year I was planning on giving this award to Season 10 of Doctor Who (I told you that this blog wasn’t only about games), for its amazingly anti-masculinity stories, and absolute obsession with the idea that forcing the sexuality of one of its characters down the audiences throat isn’t a horrible (and borderline damaging to the subject matter) means of writing. We’ve reached a point where video games have now surpassed other forms of media when respectfully and successfully writing non-heterosexual characters, with The Last of Us, Deus Ex: Mankind Divided, and Dragon Age: Inquisition introducing gay characters seamlessly and respectfully into their worlds. And how did they do this? They didn’t make their sexuality the only reason they were there. And thus, they were characters who were gay, not gay characters. You see, Moffat. You idiot.
Anyway, on to The New Colossus, or how I learned to stop worrying and love the left. All jokes aside, this game has a really poor story. For the most part, it follows in the footsteps of its predecessor, repeating a number of plot points verbatim. Unfortunately, where the first game was about a group of survivors who were struggling to, you know, survive, this game is about why white people are terrible, and how the second the Nazi’s waltzed into America, every white person in the country immediately decided that Nazi’s were amazing. It’s actually said by one of the characters in the game that white Americans gave up almost instantly, which is kind of offensive. I thought the whole point of WWII was that all Americans, regardless of race, stood together against a tyrannical and evil force of oppression. According to The New Colossus, white people were all secretly chuffed that the Nazi’s invaded.
Look, I’m just giving out this award because I’m tired of games having these poorly executed political messages. It’s not something that The New Colossus is alone in doing. Other games have done the exact same thing, it’s just that this one did it more egregiously than any other I have played in recent memory. The New Colossus clearly had some sort of political message that it wanted to talk about, which obviously tied in with the US Presidential elections, it just failed to do so in a respectful, non-ham-fisted way, and that is why it has won the “Communism through broken speakers” award for ear-grating political commentary.
Best Indie Game: Hollow Knight
Lets be honest, this game really deserves this one. Hollow Knight is not just an excellent indie game, it’s a masterclass in Metroidvania design. It brings interesting ideas to the table, and builds around a sturdy core of exploration, combat, and discovery. I’m a bit of a lover of true Metroidvania games, so when I saw Hollow Knight, I knew that we were destined to be together. Not even my love of the genre could prepare me for how great the game is, however. It’s visually incredible, with painstakingly detailed, hand-drawn art assets that all blend together beautifully. The game is fun, pretty huge, and has the exact blend of exploration and linearity that makes a good Metroidvania tick. It’s not as linear as the recently re-released Metroid II: Samus Returns (still a great game in its own right), but not as open as Axiom Verge (Ditto). It manages to keep the world feel open and full of mystery and wonder, whilst also giving just enough direction for the player to have a vague idea of where they need to get to. This is a balance that most triple-a developers fumble with to this day, so its great to see an indie developer manage to succeed so heartily.
In the few areas where the game does falter (occasional hit-box errors being the most notable), there is always the option for the issues to be patched out in the future. No problem is so entwined with another system for it to be impossible to fix later down the road. Who knows, if you haven’t played it yet these problems might no longer exist. The game is still receiving fairly constant support from Team Cherry, the developers, and I eagerly await the 2018 Switch release.
Best Triple-A Game: The Legend of Zelda: The Breath of the Wild
Woop-de-do, I’m awarding what must by now be the most awarded game in history my award for game of the year. Now we can all rest easy. My be-all-end-all opinion has been given and Nintendo can finally release the updated game of the year version that boasts my seal of approval. Hoot flipping hoot. Not only is Breath of the Wild a vast, beautiful and engrossing open world for you to get sucked into, it’s also a guide on how other developers can create better open worlds. Congratulations Nintendo, you did something right. Now all you need to do is make Metroid Prime 4 worth the decade long wait and valve can release Half Life 3. All is well.
Unfortunate Award for the Game that Apparently Tried Its Hardest: The Last Guardian
Yes, what else could it be. As the game that I have repeatedly said is the most disappointing thing I have ever played, could it really have been anything but this? What cuts deepest is that it had such potential. A great predecessor, a massive amount of consumer excitement, and the power of the new generation of consoles to allow it to succeed where apparently technology had stopped it before.
What we got was a buggy, uncontrollable, tonally inconsistent, repetitive and sometimes condescending game, with an admittedly adorable mascot. Too little, too late. After the years of development and coy teasing, the game released to just above average reviews, and the air that we should all just congratulate them on doing it so they can get onto something slightly less disappointing. But hey, at least the remaster of Shadow of the Colossus looks good.
Y, Though? 